About me

My story

 Once there was a day I lived in complete darkness.

I drowned in loneliness, in an ice cold emptiness.

I hated the world and myself most of all.

There was nothing worth living for, nothing at all.

I didn't want to be who I was, not being me.

I tried real hard to be like I thought I needed to be.

I ran and hid myself so deep en so far away.

That even myself didn't know anymore my own natural way.

But suddenly in that pitch black darkness there was a light.

And that sparkle became a flood so warm and bright.

And the peace pealed of my cover, bit by bit.

And I saw myself and it's okay, this is it.

Piece by piece was put together what was broken.

Healed and forgiven all that was left unspoken.

Never, never, ever again have I felt that way.

My life was saved, thank God I'm here today.

I'm grateful for my life, Lord, because You gave it to me.

For all that I have, all that I am and all that You want me to be.

Whenever I'm down, You raise me up.

When I'm empty, Your love will fill me up.

When I'm lost, You show me the right direction.

When I want to give up, You push me to take action.

When I'm weary, You slow my pace.

Everything seams clear, whenever I search Your face.

Helena.

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Purpose of your life

Being really smart is not a ticket to success.

 Being real gifted is not an easy way to happiness.

 Being real smart doesn't necessarily mean you're also wise.

 But being different can sometimes cost you a huge price.

 There's loneliness in being an unusual way.

 There's shame in throwing your gifts away.

 Despite your wits you don't seem to be able to choose the right priority.

 And all it leaves you with is an unbearable sense of inferiority.

 You lose yourself through denial, in order of adaptation.

 But at the bottom of the well, there's Gods salvation.

 The true value of life is not in what you earn, but in what you do.

 It's not about being seen, but seeing the other one too.

 It is not in what you have, but in what you give.

 It's what's in your heart that defines the right way to live.

 No human should feel better, but also no lesser, than the next one.

 Because it's not about yourself, but all about what He is and has done.

 Only He knows what's in my heart en in my mind.

 But still...... He loves me, my Lord, You're so kind.

  

Helena


Gift or curse.....

Hopelessly tangled up in ordinary life
Where's the dept? I want, I need to dive
Thoughts running around like crazy
I come to nothing, but to being lazy
Frantically searching for possibilities
Finding nothing but impossibilities
Intrinsic motivation banging it's head against the wall
While inside screaming at this urgent call
Gasping for air in an oxygen low environment
How high may I built on the true fundament?
Healed wings still not being able to fly
Just purposeless muddling around and sigh
If challenge is needed to excel and healthy wellness
How to fit it in with serving humbleness?
While living feels just like surviving
Frustration is growing and joy is dying
Lord, please bring Your balance in my sight
Cause Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light

Helena